If my head wasn't connected to my body, I probably would have left that somewhere else today. 

Seriously.  If it wasn't one thing, it was another. 

**Warning: I am completely frazzled and a bit queasy (stupid vertigo), so it is definitely possible that I am not making sense.  Please be aware of this fact before continuing.  I just need somewhere to vent.

Today, I went to my first class and left my glasses there.  I walked back to my office and proctored a make-up exam, hastily packing my bags for my next class.  With my TWO huge bags, I walked over to another building to pick up a bicycle (from a wonderful colleague who gave it to me for FREE - woo hoo), walked back to the main department office to drop off the bike, and then headed to my last class...in a building on the opposite side of campus, OF COURSE.  Trying to set-up the game activities with a hastily packed bag is not something I recommend.  It is incredibly difficult to find what is needed.  In my scattered disposition, I couldn't find my camera and thought I left it back at my office.  While re-packing everything at the END of class, I did find the camera.  This was when I realized that I had left my glasses in my first classroom - you know, the one on the opposite side of campus from where I was standing at that instant.

What in the world...?  Grr...

Seriously, what the heck?

Vertigo sucks.  I have an appointment with an Ears, Nose, and Throat doctor in a couple weeks.  Hopefully we can figure out how to eliminate or decrease the episodes.  I think three episodes lasting 4-6 days, in a span of 12 months, is not good.  I can't think clearly.  I think I'm too busy trying to concentrate on not moving around too much; moving aggravates it.

Fortunately, my students still seemed to enjoy today.  I had a good time, too.  I just wish I felt better. 

For now, I'm going to go sit down somewhere and not move my head.  Maybe I'll just fall asleep.  Oh, wait.  I have kids who are awake and need to eat dinner. Scratch that.  Maybe I'll get to rest in about 2 more hours.

Fabulous.

Some days I feel like the worst mom ever. Don't get me wrong. Some days I feel like the best mom ever, but today was not one of those days.

Or actually, maybe I was a bit schizophrenic today. We had our ups and downs. After one meltdown, we played with rubber stamps and all was well. A short 30 minutes later, he was back in tears. Yes, he was overtired, but it didn't make me feel any better.

My son is almost 3.5 years old. In his short life, he has tested my patience more times than I can count. I cannot even begin to imagine what a simple day without a tantrum looks like. Okay, I exaggerate. I have those days. But again, today was not one of those days.

He is the most stubborn child I have ever known. And trust me, I have known a lot. I worked in the childcare field for over a decade. I thought I had seen stubborn. Clearly, I was mistaken. If God gives us only what we can handle, apparently, he thinks I can handle a whole lot...and I am not sure I am cut out for the job.

Today, he cried for about 30 or so minutes because he wanted to look at some photographs. Thing is, he wanted to only see them with me, not with Daddy, not with his sister, just me. I had told him it was time for bed and no stalling. He was not having it. In the end, I did not relent - no photograph looking - and he ended up asleep. Seriously though, prior to his peaceful slumber, I wanted to BASH MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL....HARD...MULTIPLE TIMES.

About a month ago, he cried in the for 40 minutes because he wanted to go to the pumpkin patch. He cries if you tell him he can't have what he wants.

The irony? He cries less when he actually hurts himself. The other night, my daughter accidentally closed the door on his fingers. It must have scraped because it pulled some skin. It looked really painful. Total crying time? FIVE whole minutes and he was off running again.

I know he is just trying to get his way. And I know I must keep the boundaries and follow-through. However, this constant crying...makes me feel like the worst mom ever.

Every year, my husband and I take our kids to the Pumpkin Patch - to pick out a couple pumpkins, take some photos, and have some fun.  It's our ritual, our little family tradition.  It's usually a nice, relaxing, and inexpensive afternoon.  Today, it was $34.00 - for two pumpkins and 2 tickets for the train ride.  Seriously?

When did this become such an expensive undertaking?  When did I become old enough to start saying, "Remember when it used to cost...blah blah blah?"

Despite the highway robbery disguised as pumpkin purchasing, the kids had a good time.  My son had a great time; from petting and feeding the rabbits to sitting on a tractor, from running through the hay bale maze to riding on the train, the kid had a blast.  Of course, he's two and easily entertained.    My daughter had a good time, too, but I'm sure she's more excited about actually carving the pumpkins, which we'll probably do next Saturday. The fact that she's "old" now frightens me - she's too "old" to ride the train.  When did my little girl get so big? 

Overall, it was a good time and we've continued our family tradition.  I don't recall any Halloween family traditions growing up - I'm not sure if that's due to my horrible memory or the fact that as a child of a single mom, we just didn't really "do" Halloween, save for, of course, my trick-or-treating.  So, I do my best to keep the traditions alive. Hopefully, they will last for awhile.  At what age will our kids not want to be around us? 

I remember the first time I was to meet Jim. I was 21. I was terrified. On the drive to his house, I kept worrying about whether he would like me, what he would think about me. I never had much experience with military families and in my head, I imagined Jim as this very strict military man, someone who was always serious.

I was wrong. When I first met him, sure, he seemed a little bit quiet, but he was incredibly sweet - gracious and friendly. And over the next 16 years, I realized how he was the complete opposite of what I had imagined he might be like.

Jim always made me feel welcome. In fact, we spent a lot of time at the kitchen table talking. This is where I learned the most about him, about his life in West Virginia, about his successes outbidding people on ebay, about how he could fix this or that in the house by just researching the information. I loved our talks.

I loved how he always affectionately called Kaoru "the wife" while tilting his head in her direction.
I loved how he moved his fingers as if he was typing when he said, "I just got on the computer and...dut dut dut dut dut"
I loved how Jim would shake his head and walk away, embarrassed, when Kaoru told me how Jim would get crazy with his friends while singing karaoke.

Jim was also known for being a saavy consumer. He made sure to research products from every possible angle to ensure the best deal before he actually purchased it. Any time Ken and I were unsure about a particular purchase, Ken would say, "Let me ask my Dad." We always knew we could count on him to know the answer…or to find out the answer.

There are so many memories that I have of Jim, but the ones I cherish the most are the ones of him with his grandchildren. He was a hands-on kind of grandfather - the kind that sat on the floor right next to them, the kind that lifted them up to show them the view from where he stood - way up high- the kind that shared his recliner and snuggled with them, the kind that could be heard giggling with them - their squeals of laughter mixed with his boyish laugh.

Jim was a concerned parent, a thoughtful father-in-law, and a doting grandfather. I couldn't have asked for anyone better. We will miss his guidance, his advice, and his love.

When God takes a young life...it hurts that much more.  It makes it that much more real that death is inevitable and no one knows when their time it up.

On Friday, one of my students was killed in a car accident.  I had to share the sad news with the class yesterday.  Everyone was in shock.  The class sat in silence.  Then, another student who knows more of the situation shared more sad news: another classmate sits in ICU on life support.

Four friends, all from one of the residence halls, were driving in the car when the tire ruptured.  As a result of the accident, *John died and another of my students, *Bonnie is still fighting for her life.  The other two are safe (yet probably emotionally devastated).

How does something like this happen?  Why does it happen?  Death can be rationalized when a person is old, once they have lived a long life, but when the young die, it is that more tragic, more painful, more devastating.  These are children - these kids are someone's daughter, someone's son.  They are babies - only 18.  I cannot imagine what their families are going through.

And while I had only met them a mere three weeks ago, I knew them.  I liked them. They made me smile. They brightened up my classroom.  And the world is not a better place without *John.  And I want them both back in my classroom.  I want them both safe and laughing and happy.  I want to hear *Bonnie tell me how the 80s fashions are so cute and she's happy their "back" in style.  I want to see *John do his signature dance move while saying his name.

I can only pray for their family and friends - that they will somehow find peace.  I can only pray that *Bonnie will get better and recover from the accident.

Please keep their families and friends in your prayers - if you pray. 

*names have been changed

Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all.  Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit
around whining about it.  She does something she wants to do.
 And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what

she is, what she wants and from whom.  Few women past the age of
30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 30 are dignified.  They seldom have a screaming match
with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
 Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you,
if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.  They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends.  A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her
best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.
 Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her
friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age.  You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30.  They always know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick; this is not true of younger women.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest.  They'll tell you right off
if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one!  You don't ever
have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons.
 Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.  For every stunning,
smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in
yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.  For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow
when you can get the milk for free".  Here's an update for you.
 Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why?

Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

An update...if you are interested. 

It's been a month since I have blogged here.  How sad.  Howsad that I have not been online as much as I usually am. Hmm...well, maybe not.  Doing something productive is alwaysbetter than just goofing around online, ya?  I guess if I werealways being productive, then yes.  :ahem:  heh.

Actually, as many of you know, I have been spending most of thissemester offline, primarily because I have been SLEEPING - taking napsany free moment I have had, no matter the time.  Once I get overlytired, I feel nauseous.  Why?  Um...that's right.

I am pregnant - 3 months today.  The baby is due June 7th. We kept it a secret during the first trimester...but so far, sogood.  And the doc said we can spill the beans, so we told thefamily on Thanksgiving. 

I have to admit that I had forgotten all the "pregnancy" symptoms, likebeing more forgetful and not being able to sleep as well. Fortunately, I don't have morning sickness like I did with Lexi. THAT was not fun.  But our first time around, I was younger...andmaybe not as easily tired?  Whatever the case, I feel moreexhausted than I did last time.  And I was working like 50 hours aweek the first time.  Damn, I am getting old.   HAHA. Well, I am getting older, but it's probably not that.

People say each pregnancy is different.  And this one I am justmore tired.  Actually, I would prefer tired over nauseous. Exhaustion can be remedied with sleep.  Nausea is not as easy tocure. 

So, it's been a bit of a struggle getting things done in between naps.HAHAHAHA.  :ahem:  Actually, I am off to get more workdone.  I just thought I would ramble here to clear my head. 

My husband has found a new love.  I have been pushed aside once again.  Sure enough...he has left me...for....

kidding. 

For those of you who have asked the bike type, it's a Honda 600RR. 

Have a great weekend, all!  I am off to see Fever Pitch with the hubby.